Whatever Lah...

Its haunting me Again

2010-12-27T04:20:00.002+08:00

I hate this feeling. This feeling was the scariest and it could make you depressed and heartbeats faster than ever.
When i called him, there's no answer, when messaging, no reply, and I found out he was not at home nut somewhere else... til morning comes... Can you guess what would it be?
I can hardly sleep, hardly breath, worried, trembling, speechless ...blank!
This is not the first time, as it recall me from an ex-boyfriend. My ex did the same to me last time and he told me tat my ex is not a good guy and a bastard, and he treating me really nice as he claimed himself would never do those kind of foolish behaviour. When time past, things are going different and what i notice was, MOSTLY all guys is the same!
I'm kinda disappointed and those behaviour really killing me and almost reaches the gate of the other world. Well, what i can say is, this moment, a minutes seems like an hour for me. Why i cant just sleep and the next day i wake and new beginning is waiting for me but why is there a weird feeling disturbing me from my beautiful life given by my lovely parents.
I should not suffered myself because of those so called gentleman but indeed, he's a bastard too.
I hope that was my last lesson and if the same thing happens to me in the future, i will quit from the game of love and surrender by claiming myself as loser of the love battlefield.

WHY?

2010-12-25T23:17:00.003+08:00

Sad, cry, hurt, break, sorrow, struggle, stress, poor, die, disappointed, fear .. all these craps words cant just vanish from my life?
Why everytime my happiness must follow by sadness and tears?
I'm just a simple lil human who only wish for simple, peaceful and harmony life. Never harm any one b4, quite helpful and loves to give a hand on those who needs , was that a sin?
I have lovely grandparents and loving parents. We all loves to help others and same, their heart was very kind and never harm anyone. Why those bad things kept attacking them? I'm willing to take all their sickness and suffer alone rather than watching them struggling like this.
Today, i hold my grandmother's hand and i can feel she is very skinny compared to last time, her leg was weak to walk but she pretended to be strong. my tears dropping but i cant let them c it cuz they will hurt to c me sad. i hope she can overcome her sickness and also same to my grandfather who cares for every member in the family.I'm now suddenly blank. Will continue this in some other time..

Happy Time

2009-09-14T01:24:00.005+08:00

At last we went to watch movie in the cinema today.. but that movie makes me damn headache n feeling like-vomit. Although suffered in the cinema, but the whole day was very sweet and full of love. I love my Hubby very much and hope everyday also can be this happy no matter where and whatever we do... Shopping, watching movie, eat all day long, walk around and take pics, what a healthy life compared to last time, almost everyday clubbing.
what we enjoy now is enjoy the day,vacation,...lolz.
Too happy till i have no idea on what else to continue today's topic..
Thats all for now...

I Love You - Celine Dion

2009-09-05T22:43:00.001+08:00

I must be crazy now
Maybe I dream too much
But when I think of you
I long to feel your touch

To whisper in your ear
Words that are old as time
Words only you would hear
If only you were mine

I wish I could go back to the very first day I saw you
Should've made my move when you looked in my eyes
'Cause by now I know that you'd feel the way that I do
And I'd whisper these words as you'd lie here by my side

I love you, please say
You love me too, these three words
They could change our lives forever
And I promise you that we will always be together
Till the end of time

So today, I finally find the courage deep inside
Just to walk right up to your door
But my body can't move when I finally get to it
Just like a thousand times before

Then without a word he handed me this letter
Read I hope this finds the way into your heart, it said

I love you, please say
You love me too, these three words
They could change our lives forever
And I promise you that we will always be together
Till the end of time

Well maybe I, I need a little love yeah
And maybe I, I need a little care
And maybe I, maybe you, maybe you, maybe you
Oh you need somebody just to hold you
If you do, just reach out and I'll be there

I love you, please say
You love me too
Please say you love me too
Till the end of time
These three words
They could change our lives forever
And I promise you that we will always be together

Oh, I love you
Please say you love me too
Please please
Say you love me too
Till the end of time
My baby
Together, together, forever
Till the end of time
I love you
I will be your light
Shining bright
Shining through your eyes
My baby

Was it My last one?? Hope it was...

2009-09-01T02:20:00.004+08:00

Finally I've found my companion. This man really treat me nice n pampered me alot. I love him but nothing is perfect in this world. His negative thinking is really makes me sick and i hope he can be a healthy n positive thinker. I hope he can be same as me, happy go lucky whether with me or not with me in future. He is really a very kind, nice n gentlemen. I also hope that he can be my last man in my life. Since he came into my life, everything has changed. He painted my love and my life. my love really colourful since he came... thanks for that^_^

Cant Take That Away

2009-07-08T01:45:00.000+08:00

They can say anything they want to say
Try to bring me down
But I will not allow
Anyone to succeed
Hanging clouds over me
And they can try hard to make me feel
That I don't matter at all
But I refuse to fall
Doing what I believe
Or lose faith in my dreams

CHORUS:
'Cause there's a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me
From me

Oh no, no ,no, no, no, no, no, no, no
They.......Oh
They, they can't do anything they want to you
Lf you let them in
But they won't ever win
If you cling to your pride
And just push them aside
See
I, i have learned there's an inner peace I own
Something in my soul
That they cannot possess
So I won't be afraid
And the darkness will fade

'Cause there there's a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me

No oh...
They can't take this
Precious love
I'll always have inside me
Certainly the Lord will guide me
Where I need to go

Oh....

They can't say anything they want to say
Try to bring me down
But I won't face the ground
I will rise steadily
Sailing out of their reach

Oh Lord
They do try hard to make me feel
That I don't matter at all
But I refuse to fall
Doing what I believe
Or lose faith in my dreams

'Cause there's a light in me that shines brightly
Hey... hey...
They can try
But they can't take that away from me

Be With You

2009-07-08T01:40:00.001+08:00

I know they wanna come and separate us
but they can't do us nothin
Your the one I want and Im a continue lovin
Cause your considered wify and Im considered husband
And Ima always be there for you

wǒ bùguǎn nǐ yòng rènhé yǎnguāng kàn wǒ [CHI]
wǒ dōu búhuì xuǎnzé
fàngqì
wǒ yào jiānchí dàodǐ hūlüè nàxiē lěngyánlěngyǔ
ài shì rúcǐ zhēnguì zhídé wǒmen bǐcǐ xiāngxìn
liǎngkē xīn cái yuè kào yuè jìn

And no one knows
Why Im into you
Cause you'll never know
what its like to walk in our shoes

méi rén huì dǒng shì wǒmen de mèng [CHI]
dǒng zài duō kùnnan zhǐyào qiānshǒu jiù biàn de bùtóng

Thats why we'll break through
And I dont care what they say
Im gonna be with you
Im gonna be with you
I wanna be with you

wǒ búzàihu zěnme zuò [CHI]

Im gonna be with you
Im gonna be with you
Im gonna be with you
Seems like every day that go by, things are gettin harder
Wanna be the one that give you the whole enchilada
Cause I know what my baby like, I lean you on that Prada
You aint got to match with the shoes

wǒ zhīdào měiyícì de gōutōng jiù huì ràng wǒ ài nǐ gèngduō[CHI]
gēn yícì de yōngbào wēnnuǎn ràng wǒ búzài
ài shì zhēnshí de chùmō měihǎo huò xiāngtóng

Keepin it always true
And no one knows
Why Im into you
Cause you'll never know what it's like to walk in our shoes

méi rén huì dǒng shì wǒmen de mèng [CHI]
dǒng zài duō kùnnan zhǐyào qiānshǒu jiù biàn de bùtóng

Thats why we'll break through
And I dont care what they say
Im gonna be with you
Im gonna be with you
I wanna be with you

wǒ búzàihu zěnme zuò [CHI]

Im gonna be with you
Im gonna be with you
Im gonna be with you

You are everything in my life, see the joy you bring
And aint no one I compare you to
And I know that you will never
walk away from me no matter what
And thats why I plan to do the same thing for you
And I want you to know

Rap Wilber:

Be in my life with me
You know you my queen B
Show you the finer things in life and places you wanted to be
Its trips to Miami, rockin Tenjunge NYC
Party up at club Bling till 6 in da morning
Dont want yo body figure sexually
I wanna pop you figures annually, showing you security
You dont gotta worry B
Satisfaction guaranteed
You dont need another G
You can have it all in me
You like morphine ,you soothe me
Through the pain and the struggles,
it gets hot, you cool me
Cuz Yous a wifey quality qualified
Warranty you certified
You know how to get me high, hotter than a super ride
You know when you want it, you need it you know I got it
You know when you want me, you need you know I give it
So whenever in doubt, you can count on me
Whatever, its you be under my wing
Whenever youre down, you can put it on me
And wherever you go, you be rocking my ring
(Rap End)

And I dont care what they say
Im gonna be with you
Im gonna be with you
I wanna be with you

wǒ búzàihu zěnme zuò [CHI]

Im gonna be with you
Im gonna be with you
Im gonna be with you
And I dont care what they say
Im gonna be with you
I gonna be with you
I wanna be with you

wǒ búzàihu zěnme zuò [CHI]

Im gonna be with you
Im gonna be with you
Im gonna be with you

Cry On My Shoulder

2009-07-08T01:33:00.000+08:00

If the hero never comes to you
If you need someone you're feeling blue
If you're away from love and you're alone
If you call your friends and nobody's home
You can run away but you can't hide
Through a storm and through a lonely night
Then I show you there's destiny
The best things in life
They're free

Chorus:

But if you wanna cry
Cry on my shoulder
If you need someone who cares for you
If you're feeling sad your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do
Cry On My Shoulder lyrics on
http://music.yeucahat.com/song/English/2361-Cry-On-My-Shoulder~Super-Stars.html

If your sky is grey oh let me know
There's a place in heaven where we'll go
If heaven is a million years away
Oh just call me and I make your day
When the nights are getting cold and blue
When the days are getting hard for you
I will always stay here by your side
I promise you I'll never hide

Repeat chorus

What real love can do
What love can do
What real love can do
What love can do
What real love can do
What love can do

Last Flight Out

2009-07-08T01:29:00.000+08:00

I'm so scared that you will see
All the weakness inside of me
I'm so scared of letting go
That the pain I've hid will show

I know you want to hear me speak
But I'm afraid that if I start to
I'll never stop

[c h o r u s]
I want you to know
You belong in my life
I love the hope
I see in your eyes
For you I would fly
At least I would try
For you I'll take
The last flight out

I'm afraid that
You will leave
As my secrets
Have been revealed
In my dreams
You'll always stay
Every breathing moment from now

I know you want to hear me speak
But I'm afraid that if I start to
I'll never stop

[c h o r u s]

I cannot hold back
The truth no more
I let you wait too long
Although it's hard and scares me so
A life without you scares me more

[c h o r u s]

If

2009-07-08T01:25:00.000+08:00

If a picture paints a thousand words, then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show, the you I've come to know.
If a face could launch a thousand ships, then where am I to go?
there's no one home but you, You're all that's left me too.
And when, my love, for life is running dry,
you come, and pour, yourself, on me.
If a man could be two places at one time I'd be with you.
tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.

If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,
I'd spend the end with you, and when the world was through,
Then one, by one, the stars would all go out
and you, and I, would simply fly away

Where You Are

2009-07-08T01:19:00.001+08:00

There are times
I swear I know you're here
When I forget about my fears
Feeling you my dear
Watchin over me
And my hope seeks
What the future will bring
When you wrap me in your wings
And take me?

Chorus

Where you are
Where you and I will breathe together
Once again
We'll be dancing in the moonlight
Just like we used to do
And you'll be smilin back at me
Only then will I be free
When I can be
Where you are

And I can see your face
Your kiss I still can taste
Not a memory erased
Oh, I see your star
Shining down on me
And I'll do anything
If I could just
Be right there?

CHORUS

Then I will be free
So take me where you are
Now baby there were times when selfishly
I'm wishing that you are here with me
So I can wipe the tears away from your eyes
And make you see
That every night while you are dreamin
I'm here to guard you from a far
And anytime I feel alone
I close my eyes and just be there?
Where you are
Where you and I can breathe together
(and we will breathe together baby)
Once again (oh, we'll be dancing in the moonlight)
We'll be dancin in the moonlight
Just like we used to be
And you'll be smilin back at me
(only then will I be free)
Then I will be free
Baby I still believe
Oh I've got to believe
I will touch you that sweet day
That you take me there Where you are
I still believe
Oh I've got to believe
I will touch you that sweet day
That you take me there
Where you are
Oh where you are
I've got to believe
I'll always be waiting here
That sweet day yeah
Only wanna be where you are
I still believe

Last To Know

2009-07-08T01:18:00.001+08:00

Where does love go
When you're not in love?
How does it feel when nobody wants it?
Tell me, does it float around
Like a little lost cloud
When a heart is not it's home?
What does love do
When it's not being used?
Feeling like it just don't belong
Tell me, is it laying awake in the middle of the night
Just thinking 'bout what went wrong?
'Cause when I look in your eyes
It's just not there
When I hunger for affection
The cupboard is bear
I don't know why I heep holding on
When love's got the message and it's already gone

Why am I always the last to know?
Tell me why is it always me alone
Still dancing when the party's over
Why am I always the last to see
Just a fool who believes you're still in love with me
Even love can see it's over
I'm always the last to know

What do I do
'Till I'm back on my feet
Do I hang around and try to pretend
That I'm really over you
And it won't take long
'Till love says it's my turn again

'Cause when I look in your eyes
It's just not there
When I hunger for affection
The cupdoard is bear
I don't know why I keep holding on
When love's got the message and it's already gone

Why am I always the last to know?
Tell me why is it always me alone
Still dancing when the party's over
Why am I always the last to see
Just a fool who believes you're still in love with me
Even love can see it's over
I'm always the last to know

The next time I fall
I'll be taking my time
To find out if her heart is mine

Why am I always the last to know?
Tell me why is it always me alone
Still dancing when the party's over
Why am I always the last to see
Just a fool who believes you're still in love with me
Even love can see it's over
I'm always the last to know

Only Love

2009-07-08T01:12:00.002+08:00

2 a.m. and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me

But only love can say - try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do

In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough, if we learn to trust

[Chorus]

I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'd give our dream just one more chance
Don't let this be our good-bye

Hurt

2009-07-08T01:09:00.002+08:00

Seems like it was yesterday
When I saw your face
You told me how proud you were,
But I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside
But I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide
'Cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, ooh

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself..
By hurting you

Whole Again

2009-07-08T01:05:00.003+08:00

if you see me walking down the street,
staring at the sky and dragging my two feet,
you just pass me by, it still makes me cry
but you can make me whole again

if you see me with another man
laughing and joking, doing what i can
i won't put you down cause i want you around
you can make me whole again

[chorus:]
looking back on when we first met
i can not escape and i can not forget
baby you're the one
you still turn me on
you can make me whole again

time is laying heavy on my heart
seems i've got too much of it
since we've been apart
my friends make me smile
if only for a while
you can make me whole again

[chorus]

[spoken:]
so now i'll have to wait
but baby if you change you mind
don't be too late
cause i just can't go on
it's already been too long
but you can make me whole again

[chorus 2x]

baby you're the one,
you still turn me on
you can make me whole again.

Breaking Free

2009-07-08T00:58:00.002+08:00

Troy:
We’re soarin’, flyin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach

Gabriella:
If we’re trying
So we’re breaking free

Troy:
You know the world can see us
In a way that’s different than who we are

Gabriella:
Creating space between us
‘Til we’re separate hearts

Both:
But your faith it gives me strength
Strength to believe

Chorus #1
Troy:
We’re breakin’ free
Gabriella:
We’re soarin’
Troy:
Flyin’
Both:
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
Troy:
If we’re trying
Both:
Yeah, we’re breaking free
Troy:
Oh, we’re breakin’ free
Gabriella:
Ohhhh
Troy:
Can you feel it building
Like a wave the ocean just can’t control
Gabriella:
Connected by a feeling
Ohhh, in our very souls
Both:
Rising ‘til it lifts us up
So every one can see

Chorus #2
Troy: We’re breakin’ free
Gabriella: We’re soarin’
Troy: Flyin’
Both:
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
Troy:
If we’re trying
Yeah we’re breaking free
Gabriella:
Ohhhh runnin’
Troy:
Climbin’
To get to that place
Both:
To be all that we can be
Troy:
Now’s the time
Both:
So we’re breaking free
Troy:
We’re breaking free
Gabriella:
Ohhh , yeah

Troy:
More than hope
More than faith
Gabriella:
This is true
This is fate
And together

Both:
We see it comin’
Troy:
More than you
More than me

Gabriella:
Not a want, but a need
Both:
Both of us breakin’ free

Chorus #3
Gabriella: Soarin’
Troy: Flyin’
Both:
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we’re trying
Troy: Yeah we’re breaking free
Gabriella:
Breaking free
Were runnin’
Troy:
Ohhhh, climbin’
Both:
To get to the place
To be all that we can be
Now’s the time
Troy: Now’s the time
Gabriella: So we’re breaking free
Troy: Ohhh, we’re breaking free
Gabriella: Ohhhh

Both:
You know the world can see us
In a way that’s different than who we are

Till The End....

2009-07-01T23:29:00.001+08:00

All these precious moments
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That's holding me all night

I don't know how I found you
I'm thankful that I have
Now that I have a love so true
To hold, to keep, to share
In my heart I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'll always be with you until the very end
In this world there in no place I'd rather be
You are my life, my soul, my girl
You through it all I know
That you've come to see that you're the one till the end

All my friends around me
Say you'd be gone too soon
Baby I'm gonna make them see
We've found our way back home
We'll always be till the end

When There Was Me And You

2009-06-16T04:14:00.002+08:00

Its funny when you find yourself, looking from the outside.
I'm standing here but all i want, is to be over there.
Why did i let myself believe, Miracles could happen.
'Cause now i have to pretend, that i don't really care.

I thought you were my fairytale, a dream when i'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star that's coming true.
But everybody else could tell, that i confused my feeling, with the truth, when there was me and you.

I swore i knew the melody, that i heard you singing.
And when you smiled u made me feel, like i could sing along.
But then you went and changed the words, now my heart is empty.
I'm only left with used-to-be's, And once upon a song..

Now i know you're not a fairytale, and dreams were meant for sleeping,
And wishes on a star, just don't come true.
'Cause now even i can tell, that i confused my feeling with the truth, because i like the view, When there was me and you..

I can''t believe, that i could be so blind,
Its like you were floating while i was falling, And i didn't mind, because i liked the view,.
I thought you felt it too, When there was me and you.......

I STILL LOVE YOU...

2009-06-15T21:39:00.003+08:00

Time goes by slowly.. already a month didn't meet him(doesn't count that day in the club with a glance of staring). I still miss him and love him like before. I couldn't find an answer for myself. My heart still cant fit for other guys. My heart still bleeding and when it stops? When can i stop loving him? What ever i done also cant erase him from my memories. He is my 2nd most dearest man in my life.. Even in future i found a better one, that also wont take his place in my heart. I swear.

Chapter 2: Wishing for the hope was not fake

2009-06-11T02:01:00.003+08:00

Today, Happy is very happy because her 'pending hubby' chat with her on the internet and telling her that he will really keep his promise that will be together with her in future but just don't know when can be together like last time. Happy missed those moment that she have been through with her 'pending hubby'. Only the sad one is, she still don't understand why they cant be together like last time and felt that the 'pending hubby' hiding from her. This is her last hope and strength to live happily.. and she also sad because the 'pending hubby' asked her to enjoy her single life first. That is not what she wanted but she have no choice because she love him very much. She also cant find out the answer why. Love is really blind. Hope this time Happy wont being hurt again because her heart is very fragile. Hope that the 'pending hubby' really meant what he had promised Happy and its not a fake hope. I believe she really couldn't stand the pain anymore. Just waiting for the day to come but don't know have chance to wait for the day...

Chapter 1: Story of a silly girl (part 2)

2009-06-04T15:41:00.004+08:00

The next day, Happy cant stand anymore and asked the guy, actually what position are they now, the guy answer her, 'pending wife and pending husband'. That is not the actual answer that Happy wanted, he seems didn't really answer to her question so she just keep thinking the solution to let herself don't suffer like this anymore. One more friend of Happy told her the same thing that Iceman told her about guys. Now with her own eyes and heart, she can feel it whether is fact o not. Happy told herself not to be naive anymore and will use all her strength to walk through this ring of pain that full of her tears, time wasted but gained four true friends that have helped her escape from the ring. What Happy thinking now is, fate is fate. Well, if they have fate, at last also will be together.. Let it flow natural and not waiting anymore. The memories will always be kept in her memory.
-N-

Chapter 1: Story of a silly girl (Part 1)

2009-06-04T03:52:00.005+08:00

This story reviews about a girl name Happy. Happy is a cheerful, easy-going, caring, understanding but a silly girl. She being hurt by a jerk(ex boyfriend) who been together for 4 years but already break for more than a year. Now she thought that she'd found her true love but this time, being disappoint again. The main problem is time. After sometimes, she cant stand anymore and asked to break with the guy. The guy agreed. Although Happy is the one who asked for break, but she still love and cant let go this relationship but have no choice. For both of them stop to suffer as what the guy said, she just end it. After a day, she felt uneasy cause she used to listen to his voice or received sms from him. She starting to miss him so badly and will even think of him when she hang out with her friend to cool down. She don't even have feeling with those guys that going after her some is since years ago.. Suddenly, she received a massage from the guy saying that he will come back ti find her to get her be his wife and he loves her and now only the matter of time. He also said that after he get his things done, he will definately come back and it wont take long. Happy was so happy and she waiting for the day since then but she don't know and confused about their relationship now because seems everything changed even the guy say sweet words and calling her whatever when they were together. Happy waiting and waiting, not dare to sms the guy o call him because fear will disturb him but the guy also never call or sms her. Seems like forget about her or maybe inconvenient having another affair or anything. She end up think nonsense, sad, cry, but hope the day will reach as soon as possible. A friend of Happy, named Iceman, cant take it seeing her like that, and wake her up by telling her wat really happening and asked her not to be silly n waited for the day. Iceman even offered Happy that he would help her to find out that is her guy really love her and was only busy on work or having affair at outside but Happy don't want Iceman to do that. She scared to accept the fact so she just leave it that way.. (to be continue...)

What is Love?

2009-06-04T03:32:00.003+08:00

Love is patient, Love is blind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs...

The very last minutes in my life...

2009-06-04T00:57:00.002+08:00

If in the last minute of my life, an angel comes down of the sky and it offered me to the eternal life or one more minute with you, I would choose one more minute to be with you, because the eternal life without you does not exist.
In the end, I realize that I am very happy now, and I would not finish to tell you everything that Im thinking because i prefer to show it all to you...

The feeling coming back to haunt me...

2009-06-03T23:06:00.003+08:00

After today, already 2 weeks didn't see him. I miss him so much but couldn't see him. my heart aching and bleeding inside. The situation now is completely different from the day before..the happiness is gone, only leaving behind memories..
My feeling seems to be like falling down from a very tall building and still alive but heavily injured... suffer. My heart just like being torn.
Although cant compared to my last 4 years relationship ending feel, but tis time it also pain. it was really hurt. From the inside to outside and from the outside to the inside..
I'd forced myself to not to think of him but i just cant control.. Last time's incident makes me collapse badly in whatever for almost a year plus.. This time, how long it would takes to heal....everyday end up shedding tears upon my pillow..

Day 5: Down Down Down

2009-05-06T23:48:00.002+08:00

My sickness still sticking with me. It was very suffer as my throat just like not mine..well, my mum still angry of me n bad mood for already 2 days. I don't know how to express my feeling.
Its not to say suffer but just don't know how to express the feeling tat i'm already grow so old, my mum stil control me like underage kids.
because of this, i lost my 4 years relationship. not to say blame them but... *sigh*........

Day 4 : Hard Feeling 2

2009-05-01T16:59:00.001+08:00

Today, same thing happened.. waiting for sms again. such a sick feeling and lazy to talk about tat also.
Today is cloudy and no rain at all. I'm sick.. I had fever, cough, flu, sore throat, and wholy body pain... but i still eat chips, chilies, n drank cold drinks. I just cant control myself.. Getting worst now.. Regret.

Day 3 : Hot Hot and Hot

2009-04-30T00:19:00.004+08:00

Today is a sunny day. I felt extremely hot although there was rain for few minutes. It was so suffer working under the hot sun. There is nothing special today and nothing much to write.
starting from tomorrow, i will start to tell all of you bout a story from my past. Its all for now because I'm tired to further this blog.

Day 2 : Lonely Rainy Days

2009-04-29T00:21:00.007+08:00

Today is a rainy day.Actually, rainy days is very romantic but it depends on where are we and who we are with. I was at home wishing upon the sky that my man can be right here beside me but is was impossible... At last, I went to visit my sister at a shopping complex. Sitting there hanging around, waiting time goes by so slowly, my friend came to find me because he knew i was in blue.. We chat all the hours until my sis finish her job and we went to a bar to have some drinks. Well, nothing much to jot down today cuz today have nothing special to be shared... Just to Recommend to all of u who loves to drink,. today, we have been to Werner's, a bistro at Jln Changkat Thambi Dollah. We drank some shots of cocktails which is B55, Lolita and Smurf. It was nice and worth to try..

Day 1 : Could i Overcome it?

2009-04-28T02:29:00.002+08:00

I'm a very sensitive person and i also could be a very caring person. Almost every night, i will sleep very late and not wont have a good sleep. I've been waiting his calls or even sms saying that he is safely home but almost every time, my phone left silent n freely... Every time it rang, i'd really wish that is from him but sometimes, it was not and my heart just felt like being hitted bu hammer.. Worrying tat was he safely home, or what is he doing now, or was he already reach home and fallen asleep as he too tired or drunk ask what he told me earlier? I still cant sleep now and don't know what to do, so i end up drop down here ..
He promised before that he wont repeat the same thing but the thing repeat n repeat.. i've been tired of all this.. how can i overcome this kind of hard feeling? I was really care and worry bout him.. but i could do nothing...